Class Reunions - Love Them, or Hate Them

Well, I have been out of high school since 1968 and after avoiding the reunions for years I am getting brave and will be attending mine this summer.  It's funny because I haven't been afraid to see some people, or upset because some that I would love to see won't come, or are gone.  So why has it taken so long to even want to go again?  For me it is a lot about who I am now and a great deal about who I was then.  I was always trying to fit in, and though I may have seemed unafraid to many I knew - I wasn't.  In fact it has taken me many years to gain that confidence I pretended to have back then.  (I mean I did so much - drama, talent show, and just put myself out there!)

Confidence comes from a secure knowledge that you are loved and cared for, and I know I'm not alone when I say I know I wasn't.  But life has changed and I have grown stronger and in many ways more curious about what those around me during those hard times in high school were really like.  I am going to the reunion this year.  Not because I am unafraid, but more because I want to know some of those people now.  (I already know one and want to know her better!!  :-)

Spirit-filled, Courage

Today, in spoken word, text, and thought I have been faced down with the word courage - 3 times.  Each time I have explored in a thoughtful, almost spiritual manner chewing on the consonants and swallowing the harshness that comes from my own fear of stepping up and being courage-filled when I have always held back and been more follower than leader.

I have to admit that the idea of being courageous has often put me to flight if not in actuality, then at least in my mind.  There are so many reasons for my fearfulness, all of them tied to the past.  You'd think I would be able to step beyond that history and find a way to stand tall,but it isn't as easy as that sounds.

So, today I tell myself out loud that I'm really brave.  I can truly stand up for myself.  When I have little successes I smile, but even the little ones are so difficult at times.

I often feel like the wind, sometimes strong and powerful, while wispy and zephyr-like at other moments.  There is no constancy in my nature many days no matter how hard I try.  But I do feel I know my strengths better, and my days seem to be better. I think I know me better and understand who I am, and what I can actually do in my small world, today.

I've learned to at least like change, especially in my computer.  I'm taking pride in problem solving when there are new programs, and glad when I prove myself when conquering everything new.

My computer is actually where I do the strongest work on me.  I know my computer is a friend, even when there are changes.  At least there fear does not rule.  No, there challenges and success are the norm.

Now to get it to carry over into the rest of my life.

Climbing

If you click on the picture you will get a bigger view of the face
of the Rock of Cashel.  You will also see on the left the older boy
that we saw climbing the face.

Watching the Rock was a diversion as we boarded the bus and waited for our driver.   I was one of many that spotted the brick that surrounded  what looks like a door arch, with no door of course.  Between the rocks and brick we all thought it was quite steep to try to climb.   What had all of us captivated after a little while was two boys  who were climbing the Rock's face that day.  (I did capture the older boy here on the left of my picture.)  Personally, I was more than a little nervous for these young fellows who scaled the rocks toward the summit like small mountain goats so skillfully and slowly.  

I have wondered since then....did their mother (mothers?) know where they were?  And that gave me thought of my own boys when they were growing up.  

I wonder how many times they did frightening things I didn't know about.  Which added to my personal consternation.  And then a thought came to me - how many angel hands must support our children all the places they go as they climb toward adulthood?

A Little Piece of My Heart

I wandered into my garden today. There were many weeds that have overtaken even some of the biggest and tallest of my flowering plants, so I spent the first part of the day weeding. There's something about the garden that can grab and hold your attention which in these days of economic crashes, and businesses collapsing is a true necessity.

Everyone should have an outlet or what I call a mad pile to work through their world's troubles. My own personal mad pile is my garden where I work out my world's frustrations during the summer months. It helps create a path back to the world and can make my life a more comfortable place to live in during tough times.

I'm looking forward to sharing some pictures of my little heaven here in my part of the Midwest in the next few months when we really need it!!!

Life on the Walk

If I could run...I would! So instead, I am walking with my very old fuzzy friend who always starts out fairly fast and then slows to a crawl on our return trip. Tonight it was cool enough out to wear my polar-tech. We are having a wonderfully cool spring and I am really enjoying this outside working weather! I guess I'm not a hot and humidity lovin' gal.

I want so badly to start digging in my garden since I have one corner left that needs work and it is totally covered with grass...but the doctor says not yet, and so I walk.

I saw at least 10 different kinds of birds in the trees and the singing in my opinion was the most beautiful orchestra nature could ever create. There is something about the springtime and those bird songs that say everything is really new again.

There are quite a few houses on our block that are empty which is so hard for me to see. It makes me think of all the families that are displaced and facing an uncertain future. Michigan has been hit so hard, and though my own family is right there in many ways, I really feel blessed because there are so many more who have truly lost everything.

This stroll down our street has brought me back to how thankful I am that it is spring - that time for new beginnings. I hope there really will be change and better times ahead for all of us here who are, according to our governor are at rock bottom.

Here's to hope. A hope that springs up as our world here in the Midwest hopefully will come back to new beginnings with the blossoms of spring.