Class Reunions - Love Them, or Hate Them

Well, I have been out of high school since 1968 and after avoiding the reunions for years I am getting brave and will be attending mine this summer.  It's funny because I haven't been afraid to see some people, or upset because some that I would love to see won't come, or are gone.  So why has it taken so long to even want to go again?  For me it is a lot about who I am now and a great deal about who I was then.  I was always trying to fit in, and though I may have seemed unafraid to many I knew - I wasn't.  In fact it has taken me many years to gain that confidence I pretended to have back then.  (I mean I did so much - drama, talent show, and just put myself out there!)

Confidence comes from a secure knowledge that you are loved and cared for, and I know I'm not alone when I say I know I wasn't.  But life has changed and I have grown stronger and in many ways more curious about what those around me during those hard times in high school were really like.  I am going to the reunion this year.  Not because I am unafraid, but more because I want to know some of those people now.  (I already know one and want to know her better!!  :-)

Changing Our Children with Respect

We all act in our contacts with others.  We all hide ourselves behind walls or faces that aren't our own.  As adults we seldom feel we can be ourselves because, "what might others think of us?"

But learning the value of respect and caring really begins when we are young.  As young people we often find ourselves mistreating others because someone we're trying to emulate and impress.  We do it without thinking and without feeling at all.  That is part of growing up, but it doesn't need to be.

Adults can step in, instead of standing back and nodding and noticing.  They need to do that more.  They can say something, or simply step forward and be the example of caring when someone is is being bullied.

Why don't we step forward more?  For some it is because they are mired in their own fears.  Sadly, I know for me that has in the past been a driving force.  I think we all need to take a page out of one my own personal heroes' books.  Leo Buscaglia realized early on that caring for others was more important than looking good in other people's eyes.  In his story about is entrance into school in the U.S. after moving here with his family told not of success but of the love he learned about in a class for those who are handicapped.  If I remember the story correctly, he was put there because he couldn't speak English.  There he saw more love shown through hugs and caring than in any normal educational setting he has seen since then.

We can do so much through caring - we can do little but create hate through anger or aggression.

Pass on the love.

A Special Find

I enjoy used book sales, and our library has one every year in the bowels of the building that seems to be overflowing with tables that only really attempt to contain the mountains of books they have to sell.  This year I went from room to room, and table to table enjoying the feel, the smell, and of course the many titles that were there for perusing and buying.  To me, a book is alive with the thoughts and friends that people the flat worlds on its pages and I enjoy the discoveries I make at events like this one.

There were three books I picked up while getting to know some of the toms that leaned together on those tables to make a part of my very small collection (I haven't much room, so I have to truly love a book to make it part of my family.).  One of the books was a small gem that I know I'll be quoting from for a long time.

Leo Buscaglia was a college professor who was loved by his students, and also by the many viewers who got to share in his lectures that were taped and shown on PBS stations around the country during their pledge drives over the years.  Known as Dr. Hug, he spread a message of love...love by stepping out of yourself and really getting involved with people you come in contact with, as well as with life itself.

He touched my own life through those lectures.  I use to watch them in the middle of the night during pledge drives from my local PBS station.  Often repeated over the years, those lectures were absorbed and loved by many who saw his message as totally opposite of what we're hearing from leaders now so many years later.  Today, we are told that this group is evil, or that group is out to get us.  Maybe so...but how does that kind of fear help us, or change anything?  Reaching out from your heart is the ONLY way to change lives and often times that can cost you everything, but it also can change everything.

Leo caught me unaware in the depths of a nasty part of my life and changed the way I look at the world, and live in it.  I can honestly say that it changed the way I look at the people around me every single day.  When I began to read this tiny book called Papa, My Father, I was once again drawn in by how the man lived his life, what he said, and how he used examples from his own family to tell a story about what is really important in life.  I laughed and giggled in parts, and did more than just feel like crying in others.  He often would cut his own life open so you could see everything.  It was the way he shared what gifts he had to give to the world.

I finished the book yesterday and the last few lines in one of the last chapters have become my own life's mantra.  Words on a page are nothing until you somehow chew on them a while, and digest and find that warm glow of life from them for your own life.

A Code For Life
by Dr. Leo Buscaglia
Dance, sing and laugh a lot.
All things are related.
Don't waste time trying to reason with pain, suffering, life, and death.
An animated person animates the world.
Find a quiet place for yourself.
Don't ever betray yourself.
Birth and death are part of a cycle.  Neither begins or ends with you.
Stay close to your God.
It's crucial to love.
Idealism is strength, not a weakness.
People are good if you give them a chance to be.
Discrimination, for any reason, is wrong.
Self-respect is essential for life.
Except in the eyes of God, people are not created equal, so we are 
       all responsible for those who can't help themselves.
Cruelty is a sign of weakness.
Commitment and caring are the basic ingredients of love.
Love is indestructible and therefore the most powerful human force.
Change is inevitable.
People who think they know it all can be dangerous.

I know my motto is a bit long, but I think it really says it all.

Thanks for the reminder, Leo.

A Little Movie Called UP

If you haven't yet seen and giggled your way through the movie, "Up," yet please do so - soon!! With all that haunts us these days to laugh and hope again with one person, even an imaginary one is good! The humor and life's tension within the story was just right, and the computer generated graphics were phenomenal! But honestly, the movies have perfected all of the items mentioned here so why should you take time and go see this small movie? The one tiny thing that Pixar has done better over the past few films than almost any studio today is the reality of our daily experiences with a special finesse given to what I'm going to call feeling, or love. They seem to grow the compassionate characters of Carl Fredricksen, the 78 year beginning a new life adventure, Russell an 8 year old wilderness explorer with no experience in life but a real passion for doing what's right in the face of all kinds of adversity, and especially through the wonderful little golden retriever named Dug.

From the far fetched, to the the very real this story line doesn't lose the strong feelings of love, hope, and friendship but includes them whether it be through the figure of Mr. Fredricksen (who would be a wonderfully exciting person for a small boy to get to know), or through Dug who trusts himself and others to the love of this little old man even though he has NO reason what so ever to have any confidence that his devotion will be returned. This relational uncertainty is not only the stuff of legends, but it's where the magic of real life begins here in this precious little movie.

I won't spoil it by sharing any more of this gift from the Pixar's magicians, but I hope you'll take the time to experience and live for even a few moments this grand little film.

Not Becoming My Mother

I'm reading a very good little book. Sometimes those little ones hold such gold between the words and lines, and in this case it is so true! Not Becoming My Mother is book about a frustrated woman who was a wife and mother who spent much of her life unemployed because during that time in our country a woman could not work because, "women worked only if her husband could not afford to take care of her and his family."

I cannot imagine living in a time when women could not have a career and be a vital part in the business world, and though I cannot find a place to work right now myself, I know that the world is more open in this day and age than ever in our history to women in the work place.

But this small story is really a love story from a daughter to her mother because she was allowed to see the misery and angst that came from a frustrated woman who had little purpose in a life that was constantly searching for purpose. The story is definitely a message of love from a mother to her daughter - but it is also one from the daughter to her mother and every other woman of that era where depression for women ruled the course of every day.

I'm so glad I read it! Because of the real words of love and honesty found in the story, and between the lines I can highly recommend this little book to women and men everywhere. It gives a really true picture that is sometimes gritty and difficult to see, but also filled with such familial love which is beyond anything I've found in any book in recent years.